


Adventures in Babysitting

by alltimelexi



Series: Adventures In Babysitting [1]
Category: Cobra Starship, Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance, Panic At The Disco, The Academy Is...
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-03
Updated: 2012-09-03
Packaged: 2017-11-13 11:58:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/503319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alltimelexi/pseuds/alltimelexi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Frank Iero gets stuck babysitting for the ladies in his mother's church group. With the help of his best friend Mikey and his boyfriend Gerard, can he make sure baby Pete, Patrick, William, Gabe, and Sisky survive the day?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Adventures in Babysitting

Frank’s mom was the one who dropped the bombshell. She had been making him breakfast, pancakes and vegetarian bacon, and he really should have noticed that something was up. She was buttering him up for something and he should have realized it. “I have that church group today,” she said calmly as she sat a plate of food in front of Frank. Frank nodded absently as he dug in. “I told some of the parents with younger kids that they could drop them off here and you’d watch them.

That caught Frank’s interest. “What?” he yelped, his mouth full of pancake.

“They needed someone and I offered you. Don’t pout, Frank,” his mom said, fixing him with her “I’m your mother you have to do what I say” look.

“Mom,” Frank said quickly. He swallowed the pancake still left over in his mouth down quickly and shook his head. “I can’t. Mikey and Gerard are coming over today.” 

“They can help you, then,” his mother said with what sounded like way too much delight for her to have forgotten about the Ways’ visit. She totally planned this. “When you finish your breakfast, I suggest you get ready. The kids will be here soon.”

Frank scowled at her and then down at his pancakes. He stabbed at them angrily, suddenly not hungry, and shoved his chair away from the table to go upstairs. He got dressed quickly and then stared at himself in the mirror. His hair was floppy today, he hadn’t messed around with it too much, and he still looked pretty tired. Basically, with his lip ring and two-toned hair, plus his clothes, he looked like a wannabe punk kid. He scowled.

When he came back downstairs there were two kids sitting on the couch, swinging their feet.

“Hi!” one of the boys said when he walked into the living room. “I’m Pete! Hi! Who are you?” Frank looked at the little boy, and then looked at the other one. 

“I’m Frank,” he said, frowning a little.

“Hi Frank. This is Patrick,” Pete said, hugging the boy sitting beside him. The boy scowled and jabbed Pete in the side with his elbow. Pete just grinned at him cheerfully. “He’s six. I’m nine.”

Patrick looked at Frank somberly. Pete was still smiling, but Patrick looked like he was being dragged to do the least fun thing he’d ever had to do in his six short years of life.

“Frankie, you met some of the boys,” his mom said as she came in. “That’s nice.” Frank stared at her in shock for a minute. “The last three are all coming with Mrs. Beckett, they should be here soon.

Five kids. His mother was obviously trying to kill him. “Did you ever stop and think that would happen to me when you left me alone with five kids?” Frank asked, feeling like he was being taken advantage of. What if they killed him?

“Stop being so over dramatic, Frank Anthony Iero,” Mrs. Iero said with a sigh. “Have the Ways come help you. They’re all well behaved and you’ll get paid, I promise.”

Frank opened his mouth to say something else, but Pete interrupted him. “Don’t you want to play with us, Frank?” the nine-year-old asked, his bottom lip starting to quiver.

“Of course he does, honey, he’s just a little grumpy right now,” Mrs. Iero said, ruffling Pete’s hair. When the doorbell rang she shot Frank a look that basically required him to move on autopilot to answer it. When he did there was an exasperated woman with three children. Frank studied the children carefully. One of them was in Mrs. Beckett’s arms, a thumb in his mouth and a shock of curly blonde hair falling in his face. The other two were standing closely together, both shockingly tall for little kids. One was Spanish and in a tight t-shirt, grinning up at him from behind black hair. The other was pale with long brown hair falling in his face. He was standing with his arms crossed tightly, studying Frank right back.

“Grace!” Mrs. Iero said as she saw who was the door.

“Oh, Linda,” the other woman said, “I’m sorry I’m running late but Adam would not cooperate and we had to pick up Gabe, who just insisted that William come in to see the tooth he lost this morning,” she said in apology.

“Well it’s not like it’ll be there tomorrow,” the one who must be Gabe said with a shrug “The Tooth Fairy is coming tonight, Ms. Grace, I had to show Bill today.”

“Yeah, Mom,” must-be-Bill said earnestly.

“I know, guys, you explained this six times in the car,” Mrs. Beckett sighed.

“Gabe!” Pete shouted, leaving the couch and rushing towards the other boy. He was much shorter than Gabe, coming up only to his chest.

“Pete, hi!” Gabe said as Pete grabbed his hand and dragged him into the house. Gabe dragged must-be-Bill along too.

“Say hi to Patrick!” Pete demanded of the newcomers. 

“Hi, Patrick,” Gabe and must-be-Bill chorused. Patrick looked like he might cry. Mrs. Beckett handed the boy in her arms to Frank, thanked him, and then she and Mrs. Iero made their great escape. 

The young boy looked at him, his thumb still in his mouth. “Hi?” Frank asked a little wearily.

“That’s Adam,” must-be-Bill explained. “He’s four and really shy. I’m William and I’m six. You can call me Bill if you’d like.”

“Alright, Bill,” Frank said with a nod. 

Gabe looked up at them. “I’m Gabriel Eduardo Saporta! I’m nine and I want a pet cobra when I’m bigger!” he said, his words rushing into each other. Pete high-fived him. 

“I want my mommy,” Patrick said somberly. Pete left Gabe’s side and knelt in front of Patrick, muttering something to him softly so Frank couldn’t hear him. Whatever it was, it seemed to calm Patrick down, at least a little bit. Frank had barely gotten them settled in front of the TV, a show they all agreed upon (or at least, Bill, Pete, and Gabe had agreed upon) playing, when the doorbell had rung again.

Frank looked at the kids but they seemed to be completely interested in the show. He went to open the door and saw Gerard and Mikey. He let out a sigh of relief. “Thank God,” he muttered. “You’re not going to believe what my mom pulled on me.”

“Did she find your smokes?” Gerard said as he stepped inside the house. “If you’re grounded, we can go home, or whatever. Or we can bust you out. Just let us know.”

“What, no, shut up,” Frank hissed, waving his hands in the direction of the kids. Mikey and Gerard turned to look in what seemed like slow motion.

“What,” Mikey asked after a minute, “are those?”

“Those,” Frank replied calmly, or at least calmer than he had been in the last hour or so, “are the children we will be babysitting this afternoon. Please, come say hello, I’m sure they’re dying to meet you.”

Gerard frowned. “There is no need for sarcasm, Frankie. Also, I don’t think kids like me.”

“Probably not,” Mikey said, shaking his head. 

By this time, the children had noticed that they weren’t alone. They were looking at the group of teenagers still standing in the entryway. Patrick, who had seemed to have relaxed in the past few minutes, instantly tensed again. Adam blinked, climbed into William’s lap, and stuck his thumb back into his mouth. 

“Who,” Pete asked, his eyes stuck firmly on Mikey, “is that?” 

“Um,” Mikey said, blinking at Pete.

“That’s Mikey. He’s going to help me watch you guys, okay?” Frank asked, a little confused. 

Pete was up out of his spot on the couch and in front of Mikey in seconds. “You are the most beautiful boy I’ve ever seen!” he said, sounding as he was in awe. “Will you marry me, Mikey?” Mikey blinked. 

Mikey looked down at Pete, then he looked at Gerard and Frank. “Depends,” he said after a minute. “Exactly how old are you? Oh, and what’s your name?” 

Pete smiled so all of his very white teeth were showing. “I’m Pete and I’m nine,” he said with a nod.

Mikey studied him for another minute and then nodded. “Okay, he said, shrugging a little. Pete looked like he might pass out from excitement. 

He wasn’t the only one excited. “We’ve gotta plan a wedding!” Gabe yelled. He grabbed William’s hand and grinned.

“I call maid of honor,” Gerard said, smiling and going to stand by Frank. Frank watched, shaking his head as William, Pete, and Gabe started the planning. Mikey was just standing there, looking a little confused, but Pete had a hold of his hand and Mikey didn’t seem to mind very much.

“Patrick is my best man,” Pete said with a decisive nod. 

“We’ve got to dress up,” William said with a small smile. “Sisky, you can be ring bearer.” Adam nodded, seeming to take his job seriously.

“Who are we going to invite?” Patrick asked, seeming to cheer up a bit. “I think one of the Alexes lives around here.”

Frank knew the Alexes. Everyone in the neighborhood knew the Alexes. “Alex Greenwald lives next door,” Frank announced. “I bet one of the other ones is there too.”

“Sweet,” Gabe exclaimed. 

“Brendon lives across the street. Can we go ask him?” Patrick asked.

“Sure,” Gerard affirmed. “We can have it outside in the backyard so they can both come.”

“I want to go ask the Alexes!” William proclaimed. 

“Okay, Gerard will go with you,” Frank replied. “Ask Brendon too, I guess.” Gerard nodded and William reached out for his hand. The eighteen-year-old boy hesitated before taking William’s hand and leading him out the door.

“We gotta get ready!” Gabe declared. “Mikey and Pete need clothes! And rings! And we need flowers for Sisky!” Mikey looked around, looking very confused at the sudden change of events.

“I have some ties in my room,” Frank said, smiling a little. “We can dress you guys up in those.” He took Adam’s hand, gesturing for the other boys to follow him up the stairs. In his room he dressed Pete, Gabe, and Adam in ties.

“Is Mikey gonna wear a dress?” Gabe asked, looking quite serious.

“No!” Mikey exclaimed sounding a little worried at the idea.

“Then you need a tie, too,” Pete ordered, smiling brightly at him. 

“All right,” Mikey submitted, before (in a move that was characteristically not Mikey) he bent down and helped fix Pete’s tie for him. Pete stood still for the first time since Frank had laid eyes on him, and his eyes widened before he burst into another wide grin. Frank raised an eyebrow at Mikey before rummaging through his dresser for yet another tie. “Thank God for private school,” he muttered as he found one. He tossed it at Mikey, who was luckily able to tie it himself. 

“Frank,” Adam said, looking up at him. “I watch Butcher.” 

Frank blinked. “Butcher?” 

Gabe looked over. “Butcher is one of William’s friends. His real name is Andy. Sisky loves him,” Gabe teased. Adam’s eyes widened almost comically, but his bottom lip was also starting to quiver at the same time. Uh-oh. Frank quickly sent Gerard a text to ask William about inviting this Andy kid.

By the time Pete had deemed everyone suitable for his wedding, taking extra attention to Patrick and Mikey, Gerard and William were back with ten more kids. Frank looked at Gerard and thought they were all out of their minds. “I sent you out for four and you come back with ten,” Frank complained, “What am I going to do with you?” 

Gerard smiled and shrugged. Adam let go of Frank’s hand and immediately ran to a boy who was probably around Pete’s age. The boy picked Adam up and held him, which Frank couldn’t help but think was cute. 

The backyard wasn’t really fit for a wedding. Frank still didn’t have wings, although he figured Mikey’s class ring would work if only he could find Pete something. Then again, Mikey’s class ring had been kind of expensive, he probably wouldn’t want to give it up to a nine-year-old.

In true Gerard fashion, he solved that problem too. “I stopped and won these,” he said, holding up two plastic eggs with cheap plastic rings in them.

“Gah, I love you,” Frank proclaimed with a smile.

“I know,” Gerard said softly, reaching out to brush his fingertips across Frank’s cheek. Frank smiled and then felt someone tugging on his shirt.

“Mr. Frank, sir,” a boy with a head of curly hair said softly. “Ryan and Dallon are fighting again, sir.”

Frank sighed but followed the little boy to where two boys were indeed fighting. One of them looked to be older than the other. “He was my best friend first!” the younger one shouted, tugging on the arm of Brendon Urie.

“He likes me better!” the older one argued, scowling and crossing his arms. 

“Guys,” Frank intervened, “do you really need to fight over this?” He didn’t know what exactly ‘this’ was, but he figured he’d heard enough adults say it to him over the years that it had a possibility of working.

“Yes,” both boys announced at the same time.

“Hi,” the small boy in the middle greeted Frank cheerfully. “I’m Brendon. They’re fighting over me.”

“That’s great,” Frank commented, “but they really need to save that for later.”

Brendon nodded. “Ryan,” he said to the holding on to him. Ryan hesitated and let go. “Dallon,” Brendon chastised, this time looking at the older boy.

“Sorry,” Dallon apologized calmly. Ryan glared at him and grabbed Brendon again, holding his hand this time. Brendon beamed at him. 

Gerard came over to him and gestured to where Mikey was surrounded by young boys. “I don’t know if they’ve mistaken him for a girl,” Gerard started, sounding quite amused, “or if their parents are going to have a very interesting time raising them, but they are practically enthralled.”

“We should get this over with so we can send the rest of them home. Why exactly are there so many of them?” Frank questioned.

“Well, Ryan, Spencer, Jon, and Dallon were all at Brendon’s. And of course Brendon couldn’t come and leave them at his house, so he invited them all to come along too. Then we went to Alex Greenwald’s and he had Ian, Cash, and Alex Marshall with him. Then you told us to go pick up Andy too,” Gerard explained. “These kids are odd, I’m telling you. They travel in packs.”

Frank silently agreed with Gerard before shoving him gently towards the large group of kids. “Tell them to sit down close to the tree okay? Let’s get your little brother married off to a nine year old.”

“I’ve been waiting to hear those words for sixteen years,” Gerard said with a laugh, before going to do what he was told. 

Frank went over to Mikey and raised an eyebrow. “You sure you want to go through with this?” Frank asked. “Marriage is a life time commitment you know. Especially when a nine year old is running the ceremony.” 

Gabe grinned. “I’m helping people!” he declared. He had been given the job of marrying Pete and Mikey.

“Sure,” Mikey said, shrugging. “I mean I don’t really have anything else going on right now so. Why not get married?”

Frank rolled his eyes but clapped him on the back. “You came here a single boy… you leave a married man. Godspeed Mikeyway.” Mikey rolled his eyes and shoved Frank away. 

Frank started to make his way to Gerard when Alex Marshall came up to him. “I’m an usher. I’m supposed to make you sit down,” he said with a nod of authority. Frank smiled and followed him. Alex pointed at a spot on the ground and Frank made a big deal of sitting in the exact same spot. Alex had to fight back a smile before he ran to grab Cash to sit beside him.

Gerard was looking over from his spot standing underneath the tree. He flashed Frank a thumbs up and then nodded towards his little brother. Frank turned to look and saw that Mikey was in a spirited debate with Patrick over who got what ring. Patrick seemed to think Pete should get the purple one because Pete deserved the best. Mikey seemed to just want the purple one. Frank tried his best not to go over and smack the two stubborn boys heads together. Mikey was sixteen; he could seriously hurt little six-year-old Patrick. 

“Guys, lets get a move on!” Gabe called, looking like he was starting to get bored. The Alexes made sure everyone was seated the way they wanted them (although the moment they sat Brendon down on the opposite side of Ryan, he crawled over to him) and then plopped down in the very back. Patrick sent one last scowl at Mikey before going to stand opposite Gerard. Mikey looked a little confused but then went to stand by his big brother.

“We forgot music,” William called from the sliding glass door of the house. “Pete went to get a CD from Frank’s room!” Frank’s eyes rose and he sent Gerard and Mikey a desperate look. Frank’s room was not meant for snooping nine-year-olds. Before he could get up to go find him though, Pete came running out with a CD and a portable CD player. He plugged it in and pressed play and Anthrax came blasting out. Pete seemed satisfied and flashed them a thumbs up before running back into the house.

Frank had no idea how he was going to explain this to the kids’ parents. When William noticed the music he shoved Adam out the door. Adam stumbled, looking slightly confused, before basically running towards Gabe. When he reached the older boy, he clung to his legs. Gabe just patted him on the head and then made hurrying gestures toward the house. William came next, saying that he wasn’t actually a part of the wedding but he was just going to stand with Gabe and Adam anyway.

Finally, Pete came out. He made sure that the door was closed before he started walking down the “aisle” that was made by the parting of children. When he reached the group standing underneath the tree he was smiling widely. 

Gabe took over, prying Adam off of him and moving to position Pete so he was right across from Mikey. “Okay, we have to hurry this up because Adam needs to take a nap, Patrick’s getting grumpy, and our mommies will be home soon. So, Mikey, do you take Pete to be your husband? To love and sometimes hate? To help with his math homework when we have to start doing fractions? Do you promise to help him when he hurts himself, so he doesn’t have to go to the doctor’s and get another pink cast ‘cause they don’t have anymore purple ones?” 

Mikey looked slightly amused, raising an eyebrow at Pete, but nodded. “Sure,” he said.

“Good. Pete, do you take Mikey to be your husband? Do you promise not to hit him when you’re angry? Do you promise to realize he’s in high school and actually might have things to do and you can’t just go see him? And to make sure that you don’t kiss Patrick since you’re married to Mikey now and Patrick thinks that would be gross?” Gabe asked. Patrick looked proud, which made Frank think he probably had something to do with Pete’s vows. “Oh, and also, do you promise to not annoy Gerard?” Frank looked at Gerard, who was just smiling innocently.

“I do!” Pete said, nodding excitedly. Mikey actually laughed this time, which made Frank feel kind of like Pete was something special.

“Then you’re married now. Adam, give them the rings,” Gabe said, nodding towards the rings Adam had clutched in his hands. Patrick scowled, but Pete looked perfectly happy when Mikey placed the black ring on his finger. Mikey got the purple one after all. “You can kiss now, if you want.”

Mikey bent and kissed Pete on the cheek, which made Pete blush. There were mixed responses to that from the crowd. Frank definitely heard a few “Ew!”s but he was also pretty sure he heard a couple “Aww!”s. 

“Dudes,” Gabe said, smiling a little, “you’re married. Go be married somewhere.” Pete nodded seriously and dragged Mikey back into the house. Frank decided Mikey’d have to fend for himself, because they needed to make sure the kids got home.

“Gee!” Frank called. “You and William take everyone back, okay? I’ll get lunch or something.” Gerard nodded and started rounding up the kids that he had to take home. Adam started crying when William said Andy had to go home, and Frank went to pick him up. Gabe was right; Adam probably really did need to lie down for a bit. Andy kept looking back at them when Gerard led them out of the backyard. He looked a little like his heart was breaking at having to leave Adam behind. Frank decided that they were really cute. 

“Come on, guys, let’s go in and save Mikey,” he said to Patrick and Gabe. Adam was still whimpering against his shoulder. 

Gabe nodded and ran towards the door, while Patrick trailed behind. “Hey, Frank?” he said once Gabe was inside.

“Yeah?” Frank asked, stopping and looking at him.

“Pete’s still my best friend right? Just cause he’s married now? My mommy says you marry your best friend, but he married Mikey. Does that mean Mikey’s his best friend now? If so, what am I?” Patrick asked, sounding like he, too, was suspiciously close to crying.

“No, Pat, that’s not what it means at all,” Frank said. “Just because Pete married Mikey doesn’t mean he cares about you any less. Trust me on this one, okay?” 

“But how do you know?” Patrick asked, at the point of sniffling now.

“Because. Look, Mikey’s been my best friend since… since a long time. This year, I started dating his brother. But even though I’m dating Gerard, Mikey’s still my best friend. I love them both in different ways, you know?” Frank said. 

Patrick looked at him for a minute. “As long as Mikey’s your best friend, he can’t be Pete’s, right?”

Frank knew that logic was flawed, but didn’t want to point it out. Patrick was still a baby; of course it made sense to him. “Right,” he agreed. 

Patrick smiled a little. “Thanks, Frank. Let’s go inside. I think Adam’s asleep,” he said. Frank was surprised to note that Adam was asleep on his shoulder. He must have passed out during the time Patrick was talking to him. Patrick took his hand when they went back inside, and Frank had to bite back a cheesy grin.

“I made peanut butter and jelly,” Mikey said when he saw Frank and Patrick walk into the kitchen. Pete and Gabe were sitting at the table with their sandwiches, chips, and a glass of milk, looking perfectly content. He handed a plate to Patrick, who smiled at him and went to sit down beside Pete. Frank nodded to Mikey before pointing at Adam and heading upstairs. He took his tie off the little boy and laid him down on his bed. Adam curled up almost the moment Frank let go of him. 

When Frank went back downstairs, William and Gerard had joined the crowd in the kitchen. Frank went over to Gerard and wrapped his arms around him. “Hey, Frank?” Patrick asked around a bite of sandwich. “Are you and Gerard going to get married next?”

Frank blushed at the question, but Gerard laughed. “We’ll see,” he said calmly. Mikey rolled his eyes at them but was twirling the purple plastic ring around his finger. Frank had just gotten himself a plate when he heard the door open. Three moms came into the kitchen, seeing the boys sitting down eating, and smiled.

“Sorry we’re late, Frankie,” Linda said. “I see you were able to find lunch for everyone. Hello Michael, hello Gerard.”

“Hi Mrs. Iero,” the Ways chorused, smiling their small ‘Us? Corrupt your one and only son? Why I’d never!’ smiles. 

“Adam’s upstairs in my bed,” Frank explained to Mrs. Beckett. “He fell asleep. I think he’s had a busy morning.”

“I got married!” Pete exclaimed to his mom, showing off the ring. Mrs. Wentz’s eyes immediately landed on Patrick. “To Mikey!” Pete added, pointing.

Linda raised an eyebrow at Mikey, who just shrugged. “It was an epic ceremony,” Gabe added. 

Mrs. Beckett had gone to retrieve Adam, and came back down in time to hear this. “What ceremony?” she asked. 

Gabe and William exchanged glances and then William looked at his mother. “Mom, Gabe and I decided we’re going to get married today,” he said calmly. He finished his last chip and handed the plate to Frank. 

Mrs. Beckett didn’t look surprised at all. “At least wait until you’re sixteen, please,” she said. “Come on guys, let’s get going. We have to drop Adam off, and then Dad’s taking us all out to the movies tonight.”

“Awesome!” Gabe and William said in unison as they ran towards the door. 

Mrs. Beckett thanked Frank and slipped a twenty-dollar bill in his hand. “I know they can be a lot to handle,” she said with a knowing nod. “But thank you.”

“It was no problem,” Frank said with a grin. “They’re welcome back any time.” Linda looked over at them, looking a little proud of her son. 

When all the kids were gone, Frank called out that he was going to the Way’s and ran out the door. “So, anything else we do now will fail in comparison to that,” Frank said as they walked.

“Well duh, I got married,” Mikey said, deadpan. Frank laughed and Gerard rolled his eyes. Frank glanced back at the backyard, and then smiled as he turned back to his friends and laughed at something else Mikey said.


End file.
